NFL quarterbacks as characters from ‘I Think You Should Leave’

There is perhaps no comedy show that has shaped my day-to-day life more than I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. The wholly bizarre, often surreal sketch comedy show has altered patterns of speech in my house since it’s release. My wife and I often communicate solely through quotes, and somehow manage to hear each other perfectly.

It’s also weirdly become a metric for how I judge whether or not I’ll get along with people. If someone tells me they like ITYSL, I immediately know I’m going to have a good relationship with them. If someone says it’s stupid or they don’t get it, the inverse is true.

This week I was sitting around thinking about ITYSL, as I’m want to do — and I realized how many characters in the show are weird analogs for NFL quarterbacks. It’s not every starting QB, sorry if I left your favorite out. If anything it’s probably a credit to a person if they can’t be likened to a character from the show.

Daniel Jones: Sloppy Steaks Guy

People can change. Daniel Jones used to be a piece of shit, but not anymore.

Aaron Rodgers: Detective Crashmore

When he’s on the Pat McAfee show talking about how he’s a free thinker now and doesn’t want to talk about his other job.

Tom Brady: Karl Havoc

When you’re in the playoffs but you know it’s just a matter of time before you get to leave this all behind.

Kyler Murray: Leslie, who got stuck with the bill

When they ask you in negotiations if you play video games instead of watching film.

Baker Mayfield: Hotdog Guy

Every time Baker Mayfield is asked what’s to blame when he loses another start.

Derek Carr: Ghost house night tour cusser

It’s hard to say goodbye… so might as well be emo as hell about it.

Geno Smith and Russell Wilson: Bones are their money

When you’ve both learned the same song, but only one of you actually know what someone is looking for.

Zach Wilson: Confused driver

It happens when you’re handed a team before you’re ready.

Matt Ryan: Johnny Carson’s handler

It’s tough adjusting from living in Atlanta to life in Indianapolis

Kirk Cousins: Dan Flashes’ enthusiast

Just hundreds of Kirk Cousins’ fighting over elaborate shirts.

Ryan Tannehill: Whoopee cushion prank guy

When the Titans drafted a QB.

Josh Allen: MY TABLES!

Driving through the parking lot after a game.

Cam Newton: Brian, and his hat

Goes without saying, really.